I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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