I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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