this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
