Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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