Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize