i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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