By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
