i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
ttyl tear gas
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
