we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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