I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize