Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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