that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
