8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
no you cant smoke seaweed
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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