My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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