I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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