The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
