would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
