I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
