is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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