its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We left the knife in your bed.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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