My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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