Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
