Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
17 year olds will be the death of me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
