Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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