I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
