He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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