More tranny stories later!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I think people are normalizing furries
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
