your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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