Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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