Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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