Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
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On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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