Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
