Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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