Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
