it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I am one with the molecules
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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