just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
