someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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