I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
