My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
