i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Quick, to the slutcave!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
