he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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