i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
