i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I could make wine with my vomit
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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