is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize