You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
