I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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