I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
