When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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