Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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