tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
