the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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