Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
