My brain says no but my pants say off.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
