He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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