Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
