just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
