The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
