it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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