We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm like, not good at living.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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