I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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