everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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