That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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