I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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