I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize