So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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