So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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