girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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