Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
God I need to hump something, right now.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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