I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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