The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
