That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
