I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
